#i don't have any training but it's fun and nobody else wants to do it

[sparrownnax]

I'VE BEEN GIVEN ACCESS TO THE BUSINESS TEESPRING. SEE YOU IN THE NEXT 2-3 BUSINESS WEEKS.

[cressidagrey]

Holy Ground - Chapter 2

Summary:

Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

Azriel’s shadows liked to spoil his mate rotten.

Not that Azriel could find anything wrong with that.

She deserved more for putting up with him. 

More than new tea from the Dawn Court and her favourite chocolate covered, wafer thin cookies from a small bakery near the Sidra…more than the occasional embroidery thread they snuck her…More than whatever animal he went to go hunt, to cover his bed in even more furs just for her. 

He nearly had enough Sable furs to have a blanket made for her for Winter Solstice…

Azriel also had half a mind to go sneak in her office later that day. 

Just as a treat for not killing either of his brothers. For being civil. 

Rhys had come over for sparring, unnannounced. 

Azriel had hoped to have some peace and quiet today, but it seemed like Rhys had other plans. 

Currently Cassian and Rhys were wrestling with less sense than they had had when they were just kids, and Azriel was cleaning his weapons, watching from the sidelines.

Azriel couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of his brothers roughhousing. It was typical of them to turn a simple sparring session into some kind of ridiculous competition. He focused on sharpening his knives, trying to ignore their antics.

"You know, we could also actually train properly," he called out, his tone dry. "Instead of wrestling like a bunch of children."

Cassian looked up from his grappling with Rhys, grinning. "Oh, come on Az. Don't be such a stick in the mud. Loosen up, have a little fun for once."

Azriel's expression remained impassive. "I'm perfectly capable of having fun, Cassian. But I prefer to do so without rolling around in the dirt like a wild animal."

Rhysand chuckled, standing up and clapping Cassian on the back. "It's good to let loose every now and then, Az. You should try it sometime. It might make your brooding sessions a little less depressing."

Azriel just grunted in response, not willing to engage in a verbal sparring match with Rhys. He continued to clean his weapons, hoping that the training session would end soon so he could escape his brothers' teasing.

“When did you even come home yesterday?” Cassian asked him.

Azriel looked up from his work, his expression neutral. "Around 11," he said simply.

“You didn’t come to dinner,” Rhys pointed out. “You were missed.”

He highly doubted that.

And maybe he had made that mission in Dawn just a little while longer, so that he knew that dinner would be over and when he came home, he wouldn’t need to be alone.

Azriel just shrugged. "I was busy," he said, offering no further explanation. He knew his brothers were just trying to rile him up, and he wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

*Are you still pissed of at me?* Rhys asked him mentally with a sigh. *I get it. But you don’t need to avoid everybody else, just because…*

*I’m not avoiding anyone,* Azriel replied, his mental voice tight. *I’m simply choosing to spend my time how I see fit.*

“I was busy,” he repeated aloud.

Cassian rolled his eyes. "You're always busy, Az. You know, there's such thing as taking a break once in a while. Spending time with your family."

Or he could spent time with his mate. He could spent time with his mate, who let him brush her hair and even braid it …who pressed kisses to his horrible scarred hands and smiled at him. 

If it was a choice between Irena or a family dinner where he didn’t want to stay longer than an hour or two, because he was still too fucking pissed off at Rhys…the choice was easy. 

“Or is there a special somebody?” Cassian teased him.

Azriel glowered at him. "It’s none of your business." He went back to working on his weapons, his expression tense.

*You can’t keep panting after Elain for the rest of your life,* Rhys said mentally. *Look, I know I didn’t…I am sorry. But she’s happy with Lucien and…*

*Don’t worry, I’ll go to a pleasure hall and pay for it if I want to fuck somebody,* Azriel shot back viciously.

Or his own hand would suffice. More than suffice, especially if…especially if Irena had let him kiss her the evening before…sometimes he waited until she disappeared into her room, and he buried his face in the pillows that smelled like her, fisted his cock and rutted like an untried boy for seconds before he came all over himself. 

It was still better than any other sex he ever had had before.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. "It sounds like you need to get laid," he said, chuckling. "Maybe that'll help with your bad mood."

Azriel shot him a glare. "Mind your own business, Cassian. My love life is none of your concern."

Rhysand gave him a sympathetic look. *We just want you to be happy, Az. You deserve happiness.*

“Ohhh, touchy,” Cassian said with a snort.

Azriel just gritted his teeth, his temper rising. "Cassian, if you don’t shut your mouth right now, I swear to the Mother, I’ll shut it for you."

Cassian just grinned at him. "Come on, Az. I’m just teasing you. Lighten up."

Azriel's grip on his weapons tightened. "I don't like your teasing, Cassian. And I certainly don't appreciate you making assumptions about my personal life.”

Mostly he just wanted his brothers to leave him the hell alone.

And then...then before he could say another thing...he felt the shaking.

And then the sound came. An eardrum shattering explosion, the very foundation of the House of Wind shaking. It was terrifying him.

Irena was down there in her office. Nesta was in there. 

He was moving before he was even thinking. 

*Merrill's office, Master!* the shadows screeched.

Azriel was already running.

Cassian hot on his heels, so was Rhys.

Azriel was faster, heaving shadows around his limbs as he rocketed down the spiral stairs of the House of Wind.

Level Two, Straight to the right. Clearly...Clearly the epicenter of the blast. Of the explosion…of whatever had happened.

He pushed as hard as he could, legs burning as he hurtled down the hallway to Merrill's office.

He wasn't the only one. "Merrill!" He could hear Gwyn's shrill voice screaming, coming to a stop in a hallway of what had once been Merrill's office but now was just...

It was a mass of wood and rubble.

He barely slowed down, scrambling into action. Gwyn was already digging through it, so where Nesta and Emerie. Cassian landed behind him, immediately moving some of the debris.

His shadows swarmed as he and the others quickly dug at the rubble. Looking, desperately looking.

He moved another piece of rubble out of the way...a piece of blue cloths. The same blue cloth that he knew covered Irena's body, the scent of poppies clinging to her...Without a thought, he grasped and then dragged, a hoarse shout that was her, that was her...

He felt as if he were choking, as if he were drowning as he dragged out her body. Bloody, bruised, broken but still...still there was a faint flicker, a faint, thready heartbeat.

His heartbeat pounding in his ears, he tried to pick up on her heart. There was barely a flicker. Too fast, too faint, she was barely holding on. Barely hanging by a thread.

There was blood pooling on her abdomen, dying the blue dress she wore bright scarlet red, He put pressure on that wound immediately, leaning on her with nearly all his weight, his fingers slick with blood. "Damn it, stay with me, love," he demanded sharply.

Azriel felt like he could barely breath. Like he was falling, tumbling down as he tried to will her to stay with him. Stay. Stay. Stay. Please stay. Stay...

Rhys was there suddenly, checking her pulse. "Breathing is erratic. She's in shock," he told Azriel with a grimace. "Mor is getting Madja..."

"Az..." her voice was so weak, but he turned to see dark brown eyes watching him, brows furrowing.

"Just keep breathing, Love," he told her, trying to stop his voice from shaking.

He could barely hear what was going on around him. It was as if he were in a bubble, a world of just himself and her and the desperate beat of her heart under his fingers.

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"There is nothing you need to apologise for her, Irena," he promised her sharply. "Absolutely nothing."

Irena's eyes drifted shut. Azriel felt like something was dying inside him as her heartbeat fluttered against his fingertips. His world was collapsing, shattering into pieces as her breath stuttered.

"Stay. Just stay..." he was barely aware of what he was saying, his eyes frantically searching hers. She had to stay. He would do anything to keep her here. Anything.

"I am still owing you that flight," he told her. She hadn't let him take her flying yet. They had snuck away in the library...in the rooftop garden...in her office. But he had never gotten to take her flying. He had never gotten to take her out into Velaris. They had never had a date at a fancy restaurant, had never gone to see the symphony. There were thousands of things that he hadn't yet gotten to do with his mate, because they had all the time in the world.

Irena just stared at him, her eyes pleading, as her heartbeat slowed, fluttering weaker and weaker. Azriel felt a sharp pain in his chest as fear clawed at his spine. "Just hold on a little longer, love," he whispered. "Please."

And then there Madja. Thank the cauldron. There she was.

Azriel could barely manage to let go of her, his mind consumed with the singular thought of Irena's laboured, erratic heartbeat as he moved back. Madja immediately set to work.

He lunged for her head, lunged to pull it on his lap, to touch her with blood slick fingertips, her normally rosy red lips pale, her skin even whiter than usual.

"Hurts," she whispered, as Madja set to work, barking orders.

"I know, I know, love," he whispered, touching her cheek with his fingertips as Madja got to work.

His eyes searched hers as he murmured those words over and over, as if he could somehow hold her in this world through sheer force of will alone.

"We haven't had enough time," he whispered desperately, leaning his forehead against hers.

She was slipping away. He could feel it. Feel her slipping, feel her heartbeat slow. Feel the thread that tethered her to this world fray, fray, fray...

No. He couldn't lose her. Would not let her leave him. He had waited far too long for her. Far, far too long to let her slip through his fingers.

"Stay with me," he pleaded. "Please stay with me."

But her eyes were slipping shut, her head lolling to the side. He gently patted her cheek, trying to urge her back to consciousness, but he didn't think he was even really aware of what he was doing, where he was. The world had boiled down to a desperate litany, in his head. Stay...stay...please...don't you dare...

“I am going to be so furious with you if you die. We may have our first fight,” he told her fiercely.

He needed her to know that he would be there to be furious with her if she dared to die, that she couldn't die. Couldn't. That she had to stay. Had to keep fighting. There were too many things ahead of them...a wedding to plan, children to have, years and years of life to live.

“Az,” she breathed his name, her eyes not even open anymore.

“Open your eyes, Irena,” he demanded. “Look at me, love,”

Her eyes finally fluttered open at his command. It was barely more than a slither of brown, but he latched onto it, taking it for what it was. A chance. A moment to get through to her.

He wasn't sure what he was saying, but the words spilled forth from him, a litany, a desperate prayer. "Please," he breathed, "don't go...don't you dare..."

He was dimly aware that the others had gathered, but he didn't dare look away. Didn't dare look away from her as he cradled her head, trying to pour all of his prayers into those words. All of his hope and desperation.

"You can't go." A statement. An order. An absolute certainty in his voice. "I will not let you go."

He wouldn't. Would never, ever let her go. Would drag her back from the Cauldron's grasp with bloodied and broken hands if thats what had to be.

She didn't speak. Didn't need to. He could read her answer in her eyes, the determination in those brown eyes as she tried so, so hard to stay.

It was as if she were holding on for him, because he had asked her to. Because it was him there with her. Like she would fight until her last breath because he told her too. He didn't deserve this beautiful creature, who was willing to fight for him, willing to live for him.

It was something primal, something desperate, something fierce as he whispered those words over and over, like a prayer. "Fight. Fight. Fight."

And she listened. She did. He could feel her hold on, just barely grasp hold of that tether that kept her in this world. Just barely keep her eyes open.

Just look at him.

And she did, those dark eyes unfocused but open, staring up at him, watching him. Trying so, so hard. It nearly made his heart stop in the most terrible way that she was struggling for him.

And he was so proud of her. Of the way she was fighting like she was. Of the way she was grasping, hanging on to life like she was.

The seconds stretched too thin, feeling like eternities and only the slightest of moments. But her eyes were open, if only barely. She hadn't given up. Hadn't let go.

He was dimly aware of the others, Gwyn hovering with a worried expression, Madja murmuring quiet instructions to the others, Rhys kneeling not far away. But he barely glanced at them, barely dared to take his eyes off Irena.

He was certain that if he looked away, if he let this tenuous thread sever, that she would die. That as long as he kept her here, she wouldn't slip, wouldn't let go.

He had one hand on her cheek, her skin still clammy and pale, as her eyes slipped open and shut. But everytime, they would find his face. His eyes, like he was the only thing tethering her to the world. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her barely holding on, only that last sliver of determination keeping her here.

"Please," he pleaded, whispering those words like a prayer, like he would be praying to a vengeful god. Those moments felt like eternities, stretching on and on with only his desperate whispers. "Please..."

The world felt so still, so silent as if the world was holding its breath. Azriel's eyes locked on Irena, silently begging her, asking her to please, please...

Live, live live... he whispered those words over and over, a desperate plea to the Mother, the Cauldron, to anyone who would listen. To Irena, the only person in the entire world who truly mattered in that moment.

Her eyes were growing glassy, slipping closed only to jerk open again. Stay he demanded. Keep looking at me. Please.

She tried. Mother, she tried. Her eyes drifted to him, the smallest hint of life, of a spark there in those dark brown eyes.

He hardly dared to breathe, hardly dared to move. Afraid that any wrong move could tip her over the edge, could pull her into that chasm of non-existence that she was desperately clinging too.

He felt something pricking at his eyes, felt something in his chest cracking, breaking at the sheer intensity of emotions thrumming through him. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her like this, so pale, barely holding on, barely conscious...

“Alright,” Madja said quietly. “Good girl. You were so very brave.”

"Will...will she be alright?" He asked, voice hoarse.

He didn't let his eyes drift from Irena's face, her half lidded eyes staring at him. It filled him with such an intense pang of relief and fear at the same time. Relief, because she was alive...and fear, because they had been so close to losing her.

"She's not out of the woods yet," Madja warned. "But she'll make it. She lost a lot of blood. It will take some time to get her vitals stable again."

He felt like he could breathe for the first time. It was almost dizzying, the sheer, intense relief that flooded through him. Irena was here. Irena would live. It filled his veins with an almost drug like euphoria, that made him light headed, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

He barely managed to keep that feeling in, the pure euphoria from showing as he smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. "Thank you," he whispered, voice hoarse, eyes finally dragging away from Irena's face to look at Madja. "Just...thank you."

He looked back at Irena, taking in her face. Alive. Still alive. Still here with him, not gone. The tension seeped from his shoulders, a strange sort of exhaustion taking over. As if all the adrenaline that had fueled him, the fear, was slowly draining out of him like water.

“Merrill,” Irena whispered, her voice near silent.

Azriel felt his fingers brush her cheek, just the gentlest touch as he tried to keep it together. It had been too close. Too, too close. He couldn't stop the overwhelming feelings flowing through him of elation and fear as he looked down at her as he looked down at her, alive. Alive and breathing and whispering soft words. "Shhh," he whispered softly. "Save your strength. Don't strain yourself."

He looked up finding Cassians gaze who just shook his head. Merrill was dead.

Azriel couldn't quite process that information, not in that moment. His eyes were still drawn to Irena, still unable to take his eyes off of her for more than a moment. His fingers brushed her cheek again, just the faintest touch as he pressed a small kiss to her forehead. "Rest," he instructed softly. "I'll be right there.” He promised.

“Being here to her room,” Madja said quietly.

“My room,” he corrected.

The priestesses dormitory was locked from males. If he even tried to get in there it would’ve end well for him. And he wouldn’t leave her side.

“Your room?” Gwyn asked sharply.

“Gwyn,” Rhys said quietly.Azriel didn't even acknowledge Gwyn's words, didn't have the energy. All he could focus on was the way Irena's eyes had drifted shut, the steady rise and fall of her chest. She would be alright. She was going to be alright. She was alive. Right now, in that moment, thats all that mattered.

“Az, how long have the two of you…” Cassian asked hesitantly.

Azriel just shrugged, his hand resting on Irena's hair, smoothing back from her face. “Two years. She’s my mate,” he said flatly as he gathered her up. 

“Mate,” she rasped. “Mine.”

“Yours,” he agreed softly.

[reachartwork]

How exactly do you advance AI ethically? Considering how much of the data sets that these tools use was sourced, wouldnt you have to start from scratch?

a: i don't agree with the assertion that "using someone else's images to train an ai" is inherently unethical - ai art is demonstrably "less copy-paste-y" for lack of a better word than collage, and nobody would argue that collage is illegal or ethically shady. i mean some people might but i don't think they're correct.

b: several people have done this alraedy - see, mitsua diffusion, et al.

c: this whole argument is a red herring. it is not long-term relevant adobe firefly is already built exclusively off images they have legal rights to. the dataset question is irrelevant to ethical ai use, because companies already have huge vaults full of media they can train on and do so effectively.

you can cheer all you want that the artist-job-eating-machine made by adobe or disney is ethically sourced, thank god! but it'll still eat everyone's jobs. that's what you need to be caring about.

the solution here obviously is unionization, fighting for increased labor rights for people who stand to be affected by ai (as the writer's guild demonstrated! they did it exactly right!), and fighting for UBI so that we can eventually decouple the act of creation from the act of survival at a fundamental level (so i can stop getting these sorts of dms).

if you're interested in actually advancing ai as a field and not devils advocating me you can also participate in the FOSS (free-and-open-source) ecosystem so that adobe and disney and openai can't develop a monopoly on black-box proprietary technology, and we can have a future where anyone can create any images they want, on their computer, for free, anywhere, instead of behind a paywall they can't control.

fun fact related to that last bit: remember when getty images sued stable diffusion and everybody cheered? yeah anyway they're releasing their own ai generator now. crazy how literally no large company has your interests in mind.

cheers

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

What do you need to know about lgbt+ history as a lgbt+ person? 

Well, if you ask like that: nothing, actually. You do not disqualify from being lgbt+ if you know nothing about history whatsoever. There’s no exam to pass. 

It also doesn’t make you a bad person or a disgrace to the community or an embarrassment if you haven’t heard about a specific chapter of lgbt+ history yet - saying so would be really unfair! Maybe you live in a situation in which you don’t feel safe to do a lot of research on lgbt+ related stuff. Maybe you are a young person growing up in hard times and you’re busy just surviving. Maybe your brain works in a way that makes it harder for you to learn or retain new information than for others. Or hey, maybe you already know lots - but your learning simply focused on a different chapter than the one that hypothetical exam would be on!

Of course there are many benefits to learning about lgbt+ history. You get the general benefits of learning new things (such as training your critical thinking skills, which will help you in your everyday life, and even supporting your brain health!) but there’s also specific benefits to learning about this specific subject.

History isn’t all “learning boring stuff about dead people” - learning about past events and their consequences also helps you understand present events and gauge their potential consequences for your future. This will for example empower you in your voting decisions (or help you understand how politics influence everyday life at all, if that’s your starting point!). 

Knowledge about lgbt+ history also helps you to notice misinformation more easily and enables you to counteract homophobic myths with facts. 

It may even help you on a more personal level: reading up on all the people who came before you can foster a sense of identity and belonging. It might make you feel more confident to know that people like you have been around forever and have achieved so many things! 

So, rather than “what do I need to know”, I think the much better question is “where do I want to start?”. 

Nobody knows everything about lgbt+ history (or about any given topic, really!) and unrealistic expectations will only set you up for disappointment. It’s best to let your curiosity lead you! You’re much more likely to actually read up on something you are genuinely excited to learn about than something you’ve only been told to read. 

With that in mind: it can feel overwhelming to pick a topic to start with! Especially if you’re pretty new to lgbt+ history, you may not even know where to start. So I do want to make some suggestions here. Not as a “you need to research all these today or else I’m revoking your license to gay”, just to spark your curiosity! I will not add explanations right here in the post, I just want to give you some terms you can easily put in the search bar. (Important: these are in random order, not ranked by importance or anything like that!) 

US-Centric lgbt+ History

1. Stonewall Riots

2. Harvey Milk

3. Marsha P. Johnson

4. Sylvia Rivera

5. The Lavender Scare

6. Obergefell v. Hodges

7. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

8. The Mattachine Society

9. The Daughters of Bilitis

11. The AIDS crisis

12. Bayard Rustin

13. Lawrence v. Texas

14. The Gay Liberation Front

15. The Human Rights Campaign

European lgbt+ History

1. Section 28 (UK)

2. Oscar Wilde

3. Alan Turing

4. Magnus Hirschfeld

5. Paragraph 175 (Germany)

6. The Homomonument (Netherlands)

7. EuroPride

8. James Barry

9. The decriminalization of homosexuality in the UK (1967)

10. ILGA-Europe

11. Homosexual Law Reform Act 1986 (New Zealand, part of the Commonwealth)

12. The Equality Act 2010 (UK)

13. Transgender Europe (TGEU)

14. The first same-sex marriage in the Netherlands (2001)

15. Dora Richter

Have fun learning! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

P.S: You may wonder “But what about places other than the USA or Europe?” (or those of you who already know a lot about lgbt+ history, “but what about (topic I haven’t mentioned here)”) - and that’s actually a really great point! It highlights what we talked about above: nobody knows everything + lgbt+ history is way too rich of a topic to put it all into one short list! This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list of everything important, just some potential starting points that hopefully lead you to topics beyond ones mentioned on this list.

[melodic-haze]

alright think about this jealous sex with arlecchino. Maybe she’s been hanging out with columbina too much.

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Thr briefest mention of petplay, rough sex ig, that's basically it 🤷‍♀️

Ohhhhmygod the way Arlecchino talks of her so very fondly too like it's VERY easy to be jealous I think. Like I'm not really a jealous or a possessive person but even then I'd give like a slight side eye

The Knave was just spending a BIT too much time with Columbina for your tastes. You ask if you could hang out w her, she tells you she has a prior engagement with the other Harbinger. You go to talk to her, she's already talking with Damselette. Frankly, she's acc taking the piss❗️❗️❗️

It just. Drives you up the FUCKING WALL but yk. "Do unto others what you want done to you" or smth like that idk the saying

"I-- I'm going to--"

"You are not doing anything unless I tell you to."

You feel her hands grip onto your hair as you practically abused her cunt with your fingers. If you weren't pinning her to the wall and holding her up, you were sure that as formidable as she was, her legs would've buckled down from the overwhelming stimulation and the lack of release whenever she reached her very peak.

(With the strength of her grip, youu also thanked archons above that despite everything, she was careful enough to not claw at your scalp. That wasn't the most important thing right now, though.)

"You know," you idly mused—taunted, even—as you curled your digits within her, "we could've been doing something better. We could've been having tea, tending to your children, having so much more fun than this. And yet what do you do?"

You pulled your fingers away, slick glistening and forming a faintly connecting line before snapping, and you hear a desperate whimper that you pointedly ignore, "You pass all that up for your fellow Harbinger."

"But she can't make you feel good like I do, can she?" You slapped her thigh harshly, to which you ignore her surprised gasp too—you knew she could handle much more anyway, "Nobody else can have you all pliant and breathless like this. Not her, not anyone."

Arlecchino actually makes a move to nod instead of standing there all dumb, "Only.. Only for you.. my love, I--"

"Only for me?"

"Yes..!"

Answering like an over-eager dog. Actually hilarious.

You stand up and press your fingers harshly inside of her, and just when she feels utter delight in tbe thought of you finally granting mercy on a sinner such as her?

"Move."

"..What?"

"You heard me, my love," the affectionate pet name overshadowed by your mocking tone, "if you want to get off, then move. Surely you can manage such a simple task, right?"

It's unsaid that you want her to move on her own to show her dedication to you...

But either she caught on or she was desperate for the feeling of you inside her, for she leaned her head and started to grind her pussy onto your offered hand.

Only you were allowed to command her like this.

Need to constantly alternate between edging her and overstimming her, both to such UNBEARABLE levels bc SURELY she can handle it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Absolutely use her in ANY way you could think of; by this point she's a hole for you to use and vent your jealousy to, all while repeating some kinda mantra about how Columbina could never do the things you do to her

Remind her that only YOU could make her feel the things she does, remind her that only YOU could have her bend to your will, both literally and metaphorically. Doesn't matter to you how powerful she is!! Could be an eldrich horror and you don't gaf

At the end of the day, you have utterly corrupted her—trained her—in the ways that she (or anyone) had never imagined. You've absolutely ruined her for everyone else

You just. Need to remind her with a LOT of torture 🥰 break this supposed monster all over again, make her remember just who, exactly, tamed her 🥰🥰🥰

Whether it's by stuffing her with so many toys all in the lowest settings or absolutely filling her up over and over and over and OVER until all traces of the angel-like Harbinger is completely fucked out of her mind 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[loves0phelia]

Always Knew

Summery: ???

Words: 1,1k

Warnings: alcohol (barely)

A/N: this is my first ever fic, and English is not my first language so if I make any mistake please be nice and if someone sees this I would really appreciate receiving request xxx

The first time you saw Rafe Cameron you were 7 years old. It was the first time Sarah invited you over at TanneyHill a couple days after meeting you in her first grade class. 

Like normal girls, you and her went on a bike ride. You briefly remember Ward and Rose saying to not go far since dinner was almost ready. But the only memory that stuck in your mind was how he managed to make you feel better.

Unlike all your friends you still had trouble riding a bike without the training wheels. So when one of them caught a small pebble on the ground it went sideways. By now you were back in front of the Cameron house so when Rafe heard your cries, he along with his dad and stepmother rushed outside.

You were holding your knee in pain. the skin was scraped and your palms were bleeding. 

“Are you okay?” he had asked before kneeling in front of you while Sarah and the rest of the family watched the interaction. For a small second you almost forgot about your injuries as you looked into his bright blue eyes. 

“y-yeah” you wiped your tears and he looked you up and down and then to the small wheels on the bike.

“ I can teach you to ride a bike without those if you want one day” You nodded and he gave you a smile.

Even at 7 years old you knew you would love Rafe Cameron.

Since that incident you had seen him a handful of times. But the next memorable time was when you were 10. Rafe was celebrating his 13th birthday in the backyard of his house. Multiple kids were having fun in the pool and some were eating cake.You and Sarah along with some  were sitting next to the pool drinking lemonade and eating fruits enjoying the day like everyone else.

“Hey Sarah, do you want to play with us in the pool?” a 11 year old Topper asked. The boy always had a crush on her.

“Sure! Want to come with us y/n?” she asked sweetly but you politely refused before continuing sipping on your cold drink.

After a couple minutes some of the kids (who you think were Rafe’s friends) approached you.

“Don't you want to come in the pool with everyone” he asked judgmentally but once 

again you decline seeing no problem in staying out of the water.

“Come on!” he tugged on your arm forcefully, leaving a small bruise and dragged you towards the pool. You trashed and tried to break free but just as the boy was about to push you in, Rafe grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him to the ground.

“She doesn't want to go in the pool, idiot!” He screamed, immediately alarming the adults who were having a great time.

“What's going on Rafe?” Ward came to the scene noticing the frighten boy on the ground and Rafe above him.

“He was trying to push Y/N in!” he said and his dad looked at you for confirmation, making you nod.

After that day, it felt like Rafe was always near when you needed him.

At 18 when all your friends were talking about their recent hookups you hadn't even held hands with someone. You were desperate to find someone, to share your first kiss. But It felt like nobody was good enough.

“what's going on in this pretty head of yours?” Your head snapped to the side when you heard his voice. You were sitting outside holding an unfinished beer outside the party where you felt you didn't belong.

“nothing, just felt overwhelmed inside” you shake my head and look down at your feet.

“Come on, y/n i know you. I know there's more than that” he said and gave you a light push with his elbow.

“I feel like I'm missing out, everyone I know has kissed or hooked up with someone and I've never even held hands with a guy. Sarah had Topper and now John B. Sabrina has kissed probably every girl on this island, Kelce always has a new girlfriend and you… you probably had tons of girlfriends” you sighed feeling embarrassed with my lack of experience.

“I've never had a girlfriend,” he whispered and you could barely hear him.

“You're such a liar” you laugh, a blow of wind makes your hair fall in front of my face.

“im serious y/n” he says and gently brushes away your hair behind your ear.

“h-how you're Rafe Cameron, like the hottest guy in the entire outer banks” your words fell from your mouth before you  had time to think about them.

“You think I'm hot?” He laughed again and your cheeks reddened now realizing what you had just said. Quickly you had your face in your hands, beer long forgotten on the pavement.

“Oh God, did I really say that?” He continued laughing and you stayed hidden behind your hand trying to create a shield to protect yourself from the embarrassment. But your barrier is broken when his hands grabbed yours to pull them away.

Not wanting to face him  you kept your head down, chin tucked against your neck. But when his hand grabbed your chin to make you look at him it was inevitable.

When your gaze finally connects with his, you notice the glimmer in his eyes. Rafe’s hand traveled from your chin to your  jaw, you felt your heartbeat elevate as the tension between the two of you rose. 

“Can I kiss you, please?” he asked even though his lips were already inches away from yours and eagerly you nodded.

His lips finally connected with yours, after years of secretly yearning for Rafe Cameron.

His hand that was previously on your jaw drops down to your neck as he deepens the kiss. 

It feels like the kiss lasted forever when you separate. his forehead drops down on yours and a breathy laugh escapes his mouth.

“I always knew you would be my first kiss” you whisper and a smile breaks onto his soft lips it could light up an entire room.

“And I always knew I would end up with you, remember when you fell off your bike in middle school?” you nod after he asked his question.

“even though i didn't know what love was back then, i knew i loved you” both of his hands grabs your face softly, gently rubbing his thumbs on the apple of your cheeks before pressing his lips to yours passionately.

at this very moment you also knew you would never love anyone more than you love Rafe Cameron

[sugarverse]

Synop: you and armin have to host the new years eve party this year, how fun could that be? (armin x black reader)

Word count 4k

Mentions of sex, but still a fluff/crack fic. the part 2 is at the bottom lmfao

sug says: ts is so silly LMFAO, if you’re trapped at a NYE party you don’t to be at, heres a good read!!

Why the fuck was it even an option to pick your house to throw the party?? You hated people. Even more so, you hated hearing drunk Eren cry to Mikasa about how sorry he is for the 8th fuck up of the week. Or Connie and Sasha scream singing Not Like Us since it came out as soon as any sort of liquor touched their lips. Or Annie's ass acting like her and Bert are too good to hang out with us. But won't stay at home when Reiner brings him out. 

Why are we bringing no-home-training niggas into the house??? 

You thought to yourself, writing getting a bit messier as you pushed pen against paper. You were making a list for everything you and Armin would need to get done before everyone arrived around 6:30. It was easier to buy certain things on the day of (veggies for example) so your fridge isn't so packed. Not many places were open past 5 so you were trying to remember everything as 1pm rolled around.

You tapped the pen against the counter top as you scribbled what else the house will need. Extra napkins in case Connie conveniently forgets to bring something besides alcohol, Water bottles, set sticky notes out for when people bring food, the whole shabang. 

Before you could voice how this was a lot and was driving you crazy, Armin was standing in front of you on the other side of the kitchen island with a nervous but curious smile. “Are you okay, y/n?” he asks, looking at the obvious annoyance on your face and the sound of pen scratching paper getting more aggressive by the minute. 

You set the pen down, quickly turning to him with a smile. It’s not that you hated them, it’s just that you couldn’t leave once you were tired. It’s your house and they don’t exactly know when to leave. And on New Year's Eve? Hell, You knew they’d stay till damn near 4am. This was one of those holidays where nobody gave a fuck about alcohol poisoning. However, you care about your carpet and your nice couch.

“Yes baby, I’m fine.” You shuffle on your socks to slide around to the side of the counter to give your lovely boyfriend a fat kiss on the cheek. You hold his face in your palms, smiling softly. “Just a little stressed is all.”

Armin studied your face, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “A little?” He asked, placing his hands on your waist to pull you just a little closer. He knew you like the back of his hand and clearly something was up.

You scowl for a moment, trying to make sure he wasn’t dissing you. You watch his lips flatten for a moment as he quickly spoke up once more. “I can see it in your face, I’m here to help, not harm..” You knew that, but sometimes it was hard to remember that. Even more so forgetting to ask for help. Before you knew it, he hugged you gently, rubbing your lower back with warm hands. 

You snake your arms around his shoulder, doodling hearts and stars against his back in return. “Just gotta get a lotta shit done..” You kiss his other cheek, seeing the smile creep onto his face and causing you to smile as well.

He nodded, hands sliding themselves up the underpart of your shirt. He continued to rub your back soothingly. “What else do you need me to do so far? I moved the card table into the basement with the extra chairs from the garage– I also made sure our car is in the garage so people can park off of the street as much as possible! I had to clean out some of the garage because–”

Before he could finish, you cut him off. “Because I don't want my house smelling like cigarettes or weed. ..Thank you sweetheart.” Now that was something you didn't have to ask for. Armin always tried to read your mind on what to do at least to take some weight off of your shoulders and you greatly appreciated it. 

“I guess just get these few things from the store.. We need some extra decorations if you can stop by.. Dollar tree or something?” You let him go, turning to read the list aloud in case you were forgetting anything. I guess now would be the best time to send him out anyway. 

“We just need a few balloons and I was going to get noise makers? I don’t want to pop confetti inside and its cold as fuck outside. I’m sure someone is gonna want to shoot a gun or make some kind of loud noise to start the year- Someone always does.” Last time it was Jean with the supervision of Marco considering he didn’t want any of the other drunks to do it. Jean could at least aim at the sky and not go overboard even with the liquor in his system. 

You look down at the list, ripping the notepad paper in half to split groceries from to-dos. “Welch’s champagne if there’s any left, I don’t think one bottle is enough. Mikasa doesn’t drink much, Historia hardly drinks, Marco doesn’t drink too much either– But nobody wants to sit and drink pop all night. I like drinking it because it reminds me of being a kid–  Dip for veggies! My God..” You quickly flipped the list of groceries over to write the kind on the back. 

You don’t see him move, probably because your brain was moving a mile a minute, But you do hear the noise of the pantry open and close which causes you to look up and stop listing things aloud.

Armin slowly brings out extra napkins, forks, and paper plates that all read ‘2025’. Even themed in gold and black like the previous decorations you had bought right after Christmas. “I bought them on my way from work last friday– I knew you had a lot to do today so I wanted to try to think of anything I could get to help.” He placed the bags onto the counter, also setting down red solo cups since they held more than any flimsy styrofoam cups. 

He gave you a sympathetic smile. “I also have the rest of those decorations you wanted, the streamers to go above the door?” He set everything out on the island in front of you.

You freeze for a moment before sliding on your socks over to him. You almost tackle your poor boyfriend, hugging him and kissing him all over his face. “You are my hero. I love you so much Armin Arlert you don’t understand..” You cup his face in your hands once more, kissing him as passionately as you could. 

Genuinely you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. He always helped, whether you asked or not. He cleans, he works and makes money, he is incredibly intelligent, loyal.. What else could you ask for?

His face lit up at your reaction, lapis eyes quickly shutting and hesitantly placing his hands on your waist to pull you a little closer. You still made him so nervous. 3 years seemed long, but you had just moved in together around summertime last year. Your sudden acts of affection made him almost standoffish, Which was never on purpose! He just couldn’t help but get his words caught in his throat when it came to you. 

You scratch at his undercut, pulling away to look at him happily. “I can set up decorations and shit while you go to the store. Thank you for always having my back baby..” You saw his woozy grin get even bigger, staring down at you with nothing less than love. You kiss his cheek for the final time, letting him go once more to set out the plates and napkins with the few you had bought.

“Alright, I’m going to take your car before I put that one in the driveway too, Is that okay–” He asked, moving to grab the keys that sat next to your purse. You were already standing on the counter, setting your blender on top of your cabinets for counter space. “Y/n!” 

He quickly went over to you, hands hovering to help you down if you needed it. You began giggling, moving the veggie tray off of the top of the cabinets since it wasn't ever used until it was time for a party. “Armeeeeen I have it, Go to the store in my car!” You feel him lightly place his hands on your calves, helping you down anyway. 

He kisses your temple, letting out a half sigh half chuckle before genuinely going to leave. “Okay, Okay. I love you, y/n!” He called as he slid on his shoes, putting his coat on as well. 

“Love you most!” You wash off the veggie tray, setting it on the counter and beginning to write sticky notes for where crockpots and other items should go. Your cooler was already out for pop and the bottom drawer freezer was cleaned out for the stupid amount of liquor that would be brought. You kept the napkins on the island, taking the bag of decorations to the basement and going to set up.

Armin didn't come back till around three, shaking off the snow of his coat as you went out in pajamas to help grab all the bags. He filled the cooler with ice, watching you wash the veggies and cut them with a calmer look on your face. He smiled to himself, placing in the water bottles and case creme soda he bought for everyone. Everything you needed to do for the house was damn near done which gave you time to do your makeup and get dressed way before anyone got there.

“Do you mind moving some shit around in the basement? I cleaned the bathroom and put new hand soap in there but I think the couch needs to go against the wall and I have to cut these stupid–” You felt the irritation and anxiety to get everything done creep up your neck, sighing and placing the veggies in spare tupperware, splitting them up with walls of celery sticks so it wasn’t hard to place onto the tray.

“I got it, y/n. Play some music and take a deep breath..” He stood beside you, attempting to study the features on your face before you looked at him with an almost worn out expression. You were running yourself thin trying to do everything, but music would help the time go by faster. 

“Sir yes sir,” You tease, seeing him shake his head with a small laugh before kissing your cheek and walking down to your furnished basement. You guys had a bar with cute little stools, a mounted TV, recliners and a dark brown u-shaped sofa. Armin made sure you got everything you wanted when you first moved in, slowly buying things with checks after the bills were paid. 

He never let you pay for anything besides the few times you snatched the check at dinner before he could. Even then, He sent you money when the laundry needed done and your dryer was ass. Or leave his debit card on the TV stand for you to get groceries for the house, to fill up your tank. About 4 months of being moved in, your house was full of comfortable furniture, a new washer and dryer, a subwoofer, a PS5? 

You were spoiled for sure, but he made sure you always got your way. It was hard enough getting you to relax and use your money on yourself since you won’t quit your job. [no shade, just knows he makes enough to take care of you.] So if you asked for things or mentioned you wanted something, he’d take care of it.

He made sure to rearrange the furniture for more space, leaving the card table near the adjacent corner of the bar so no one was too annoying to anyone watching the ball drop. However, most of the time when Armins friends came over, the TV had music blaring from it.

Everyone got there between 6:30 and 8 as assumed. You had made buffalo dip, letting everyone else figure out something different to bring a little before Christmas. Ymir and Historia were there right on time, Historia held cookies and cheesecake in hand while Ymir held a bottle of Everclear and a case of cherry coke. 

Then came Mikasa and Eren around 6:45. Mikasa had made crab and lobster stuffed mushrooms, holding a casserole dish full of them. Eren had a huge charcuterie board full of different cheese, crackers, and lunch meat which was also greatly appreciated. Connie and Sasha came in around 7ish, obviously already pre-gaming with an already opened bottle of titos, bacardi, and shopping bags full of chips and store bought salsa and queso.

“Who’s ready to parrrtayyy??” Sasha yelled as she walked in, Connie cheering to pack her up which followed with everyone else cheering. They were definitely tipsy, but Connie looked stoned off his ass and Sasha’s first stop was gonna be the kitchen no matter what. You snickered, helping the two with their bags and pouring the queso into a smaller crockpot under your microwave so that it was warm.

Sasha picked at the celery on the tray before eyeing the dip and quickling going over to it. Connie stayed in the living room for a moment, saying what's up to everyone before going to make himself a plate and setting the liquor in the freezer for now. No one else had begun eating until the rest of the food got there, but Connie and Sasha made sure to stay huddled in the kitchen corner so your carpet wasn’t ruined. 

Somewhere between 7:15 and 7:30, Annie, Bert, and Reiner all walked in with different items in hand. Annie held two things of paper towels, Reiner held a bottle of whiskey, jesus christ how much liquor do we need, and Bert happily held a tin casserole dish of taco dip. And finally closer to 8, Marco and Jean came in with extra cases of soda and extra cups. 

As everyone made their plate and caught up on whatever they had missed in the last few months, they went downstairs to the card table, bar, and coffee table. You had showered and felt a lot better before everyone had gotten there, smoking half a blunt to calm your nerves in the garage with your not-so weed smoking boyfriend.

It was fun to see his eyes become glossy and low after only a few hits. You two didn’t smoke together often, he was more of a drinker if anything. But you were stressed and it was cold in the garage so it’s not like he was leaving you out there by yourself! .. Plus it’d calm his nerves as well so why not?

Eren walked back up the stairs with empty plates, tossing them into the trashcan before carrying three bottles of liquor downstairs without a word. You couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Connie and Armin meet him halfway on the stairs to help him carry everything. Mikasa stopped her conversation with Historia, leaning forward off of the couch as vigilant eyes squinted at the basement door. Was her boyfriend trying to sneak back downstairs??

“Did he just?” She got up, her/his jacket resting on her shoulders more as a cape than actually on. You nod, watching her follow them down the stairs and a surprised yelp come from Armin and Eren as if almost in trouble by their mother. You could hear music starting to play from the subwoofer, volume getting louder through the door.

You hung out upstairs, finally eating your food after talking to everyone and being forced to take at least two shots before eating by the group since ‘everyone was doing it’. Fuckin bullies.. Cocoa colored eyes follow Ymir as she snatched her own bottle from the freezer as if it was a trophy. “Cards downstairs, y/n?” She asked, smiling and opening the bottle before grabbing a few solo cups.

“Should be a pack of red ones on the table.” You spoke behind your hand, watching her smile get even bigger. She opened the door, stopping and holding the doorknob with the opposite hand before turning to her girlfriend sitting in the living room. “Please baby?”

Historia sighed in defeat, laughing a bit as a light blush laid against her cheeks from the few shots she had taken. She knew if she went they’d just make her drink more, but she decided to leave the living room and slowly shuffle on her socks into the kitchen anyway. 

“Let me make f..food first..” She giggled, sliding past you to get a plate and get herself some carrots and broccoli, swaying and humming to herself as she put some dip on her plate with a plastic unused spoon. 

Ymir smirked, half running down the stairs to see who wanted their ass kicked in cards. You look over to Historia, already looking at you with a happy smile. “Thank you for letting us all hang out here y/n, I know Armin said it first but I know it’s a two person thing.. ‘n your buffalo dip is soooo good!” She scooped some onto her new plate, having only really picked at the food earlier.

You let out a small laugh, leaning your back against the sink. “Thank you, I’ll make it again for the superbowl if you want?” She nodded happily, opening the fridge to see the fake champagne. She looked over at you for permission, not wanting to be bullied into any more shots by her friends, girlfriend and just fomo in general. “Yes you can take it downstairs, Take the rose one,” You slide her a cup, watching her happily grab the bottle and place the cup on top before grabbing her plate.

“Wait!” She squealed, setting the plate back down before turning to find something. She turned back to her plate, taking a carrot before looking up at you. “Do you have a marker?” You tilt your head, nodding and pulling one from your miscellaneous drawer. She quickly tossed the carrot into her mouth, scribbling out the word champagne before staring at it in satisfaction. She left the marker on the counter, bringing everything downstairs as she continued to slightly sway.

Eren, Jean, Connie, Armin, and Sasha were definitely getting a little too turnt the fuck up, you could hear them louder and louder as the music changed. Armin didn’t dislike rap, however he was sure as hell going with whatever shit Connie or Eren picked next. You could hear Reiner join in, Annie and Bert had walked down a while ago so it was really just you upstairs by this point.

As you began unplugging the crockpots so you could go downstairs, there was a commotion at your basement door. You open it to see Connie and Sasha drunkenly fumbling up the stairs to ask for you to make them plates because 'you do it best'. You didn’t mind, laughing and helping the two up as they stayed glued at the hip and didn’t seem to let go of each other out of fear of falling.. Even though it had already happened. You make sure to make the two of them big plates, turning with both in hand to see Sasha eating cheesecake on a napkin and with her hand. 

“Thmnak you *smack* y/n, this ‘s so good-” Sasha spoke, closing her eyes as she toddled back and forth on her heels. Connie laughed at how quick she was to eat, watching her turn and fall near the trash can as she tried to dunk in the napkin. You let out a small laugh as well, setting their food down to help her up. “You two go downstairs, I’ll bring them okay?”

Connie fell to the floor laughing, causing Sasha to lean against you in a fit of giggles as well. You glance at the clock, seeing it had only been 10:30. “Yessss ma’am!” She pulled away from you, pointing and laughing at Connie before heading down the stairs slowly and carefully. 

After his laughing fit, he held open the door for you since you were carrying two full ass plates. You smile and thank him, walking down. Ymir, Marco, Jean, Annie and Reiner were all playing a game of cards in the corner with a solo cup next to everyone at the table. You already knew who was actually drinking and who hadn't been.

You head over to the bar, setting the plates down where Armin was standing with his arms on the counter from the inside. His eyes lit up at the sight of you, quickly walking over to take a plate and set it on top of the counter. Sasha quickly ran over to start eating, Connie stumbling over to do the same. 

“There you are..” His eyes weren’t as low, but they were definitely glossy from whatever he had been drinking. He hugged you close, resting his head atop of yours and pulling you as close as he could. “We miissed youuuu..” His smile was loopy, looking down at you with eyes still full of love. He wasn’t incoherent, but he was definitely more clingy when drunk. Not that it was bad, you just had to make sure his friends weren’t aware of how handys he can get.

Eren was looking up different songs on YouTube, Mikasa sitting beside him and hiding a bottle behind the couch. You could see the reflection of light on the glass, watching Eren absentmindedly look for it before a small noise came from the TV when he did end up selecting something.

“I missed you too, my big baby.” You let out a soft giggle. Throughout the night you had smoked with Connie, Eren, Reiner, and Armin. Everyone else didn’t fuck with weed like that, Ymir, Berthodlt, and Jean smoked occasionally but their preference was mostly vapes and or cigarettes which you guys would smoke before them because the smell of weed is nothin compared to a fuckin cigarette. 

Historia didn’t smoke, Mikasa didn’t enjoy being high because it makes her anxious and Annie has this fruity flavored vape she hardly hit. But you were definitely still high. Armin didn’t look to be but he stopped early to check on the others so that probably is why he's more drunk than anything.

He pulled away, kissing your cheek and down your neck with a happy smile at the sight of you as you thought to yourself. “You look so pretty in this outfit, should let me take it off..” He mumbled into your ear, chuckling as he slid his hands under your shirt. You giggle, grabbing his wrists to keep his hands out of your shirt. He pouted as you spoke, eyes staring down at your lips as you spoke. “Hey, We have a room full of guests. Wait like.. two hours for me?”

Armin quickly smiles, nodding and moving to hold you by your belt loops. “I can wait forever for you..” He kissed your forehead, kissing down to your cheek and then your lips. You melt into it, giggling quietly and holding him close before hearing the Ad stop. There was only about 5 seconds of non-TV noise, but within so, you could hear Connie speak up.

“You guys gonna fuck right in front of me and Sasha’s food?” You pulled away, looking over at him with a squint and hearing Sasha die laughing. He looked at the TV in fear of looking at you any longer, sputtering and laughing as well. Armin’s face turned bright red, obviously starting to come to as he unhooked his fingers and sheepishly hid behind you despite being taller. 

“Shut the fuck up Connie–” You were cut off by the subwoofer going back to playing loudly with Eren, Reiner, and Connie all yelling.

“LISTEN TO THIS TRACK, BITCH!!” 

You rolled your eyes so hard they might as well have fallen into your skull, walking over to the couch as Armin held your hand and followed you. “Maybe we don’t need noise makers.. Got four of 'em right here.” You motioned to the people yelling, listening to everyone else who knew the lyrics also start getting loud. Maybe a few more shots wouldn't hurt.

here's part two! kinda suggestive but still crack/fluff for sure.

© if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot and helps me out. Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if you’re interested!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking my dog to sniff in the grass near an apartment building?

🐶 for reference so i can come back to it

I (20) am back in my home city for the summer while i'm away from college, and i'm staying with my family which includes my dog (almost 4f) who is the love of my life. she's very sweet and cuddly around people but requires a lot of exercise and LOVES to sniff around, but we can't take her to dog parks because she was a covid puppy and was never socialized properly and thus ends up pretty aggressive towards other dogs. (this is an us problem and i am trying to work on this with her this summer).

i'm trying to reinforce some of the training i did with her before i left for college, which my family hasn't really kept up. part of this is recall training, which she always responds to if there's treats involved. i want to keep that ingrained in her in case of an emergency.

there is an apartment about a block away from my house, which has this huge lawn right next to it and a couple of benches. i never see anyone there, but it's a really nice grassy area and my dog loves to go sniffing around there. since there aren't any significant triggers for her around, usually what i do is drop the leash (i keep it connected to her) and follow her around for a bit. i also always call her back every so often and treat when she comes to reinforce her recall. it's a fun time for both of us: for her because she likes to sniff and roll around in the grass, and for me because i like spending time with her!

today we were doing what we normally do when i heard some knocking. i looked around and saw an old lady in one of the ground floor apartments knocking at me (i knew it was at me because nobody else was there). once i finally made eye contact with her, she made this aggressive pointing motion with her hand for us to go away. she kept doing that until we left (i'm super conflict-avoidant so it didn't take much).

i'm worried that i might have accidentally broken a law or something. as far as i'm aware, anyone is allowed to just go hang out there. my dad says he's seen other people and their dogs there as well, and i also know for a fact that the building is pet-friendly as there are a couple of dogs who bark from inside sometimes when my dog and i walk by (this doesn't bother her). i also am never more than 15ft away from her at any given moment, and she's very well behaved and comes when she's called. the worst she'll do is pee on the lawn or poop, in which case i'll pick it up and throw it away. i think i'm a responsible dog handler, and i don't do anything with my dog that could potentially danger her or someone else.

so AITA?

[uselesslexbian]

the tortured poets department sentence starters.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating. i wanna kill him.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. 'cause we're crazy.

who else is gonna know me?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

we could've played for keeps this time.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

'cause fuck it, i was in love.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

you swore you love me, but where were the clues?

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

i forget if this was ever fun.

no, i'm not coming to my sense.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

i'll tell you something about my good name - it's mine alone to disgrace.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

i will never lose my baby again.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake.

they said i was a cheat. i guess it must be true.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

tell me i'm dispicable, say it's unforgivable.

am i allowed to cry?

i keep recalling things we never did.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

if it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

you don't get to tell me about "sad."

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

who's afraid of little old me?

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him. no really, i can.

come close, i'll show you heaven.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you said i'm the love of your life.

well, you took me to hell, too.

what we thought was for all time was momentary.

are they second-hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead?

you're the loss of my life.

i can handle my shit.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive. it's an art.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they said, "babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and i did.

'cause i'm miserable! and nobody even knows!

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

they just ghosted you. now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm making a comeback to where i belong.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

[potatounicoorn]

Käärijä's Helsinki live concert, mid-speeches translated

Okay as promised I will try to translate Käärijä's speeches of his concert. I am doing this as training for my English exam so I will make mistakes. Also Käärijä speaks in Finnish spoken language, and it has more slang than written language. So the translations are a polished versions of his speeches. Please correct me on my grammar mistakes! :D

---

"Good friends! Welcome to Käärijä's journey!

---

"Just like that. There is a lot of you. I heard some people have been waiting for a week in there. That requires skills. Thank you for that. Good lord give your self a big applause for this."

"Käärijä in Vantaa. From Vantaa. A sold-out Black box (the concert)."

"Nobody would have believed this. Not you, not me, no one. But accidents happen to everyone and now one happened to Käärijä.

"Amazing, let's continue."

(applause)

"Oh don't start yet, I'll take my jacket off. (A friends name?) take my jacket off."

"This leather is a bad choice for the outfit cause there are flames and everything. Leather against leather.

(The Finnish word for skin and leather is nahka so it's a fun play with words).

"A sip of water and we will continue."

"But one question! Did we come here to have fun? (Crowd cheers) Okay then we will continue."

---

"Thank you"

"Hey! Now there is this thing, and I am hoping that this friend who is coming here has drunk water. So that he won't go into the pyres, because today this one guy has a bachelor party."

(The guy in question appears, and Käärijä speaks to him. The guy wears a monkey suit)

"And I bet. And I bet you don't get any further. This will remain as a bachelor party. And you can start looking for a new friend, a new companion. I hope they are watching this."

"Hey! Here we have a monkey. And so am I."

"This job that we are doing here is really a job of a monkey. (With monkey they mean kinda silly or stupid). Glad to see someone else in this suit and next we have the song Kiertävä sirkus."

"You can go wild but don't go into the flames."

---

"Thank you! (Speaking to the monkey guy). I wish you nothing but the best and good luck."

"If everything went badly because of this, then you can move into my tiny apartment. You are always welcome."

"Okay take that monkey away."

(Speaking to the crowd again)

"It makes me glad. (He said "vetää hiljaiseksi" which means "pulls me silent", but idk how to translate that well)."

"People are wearing green and some people don't have clothes at all on them, but that is fine."

"So, have you been enjoying yourselves huh?"

(crowd cheers)

"Well yes. So I actually went to Eurovision, I don't know if anyone watched it, but-"

(cheering)

"Yes that was, that was like a basic gig in Nivala. Yeah we did that out of the way and- now we are here. So I appreciate all of you so so so so much."

"This is not self-evident, so many people want to see this circus monkey, I don't- I mean I am thinking what is wrong with you all, but it's nice that you are all here. Yeah just kidding.

"I also want to thank you for everything, you guys have made this thing, not me I just made the song. I didn't do much more than that. You guys created this around Käärijä- well I am not sure what sort of chaos this is, but you guys are guilty for that. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"And then I would like to respect this guy called Antti Tuisku. " (Antti is a very popular and beloved Finnish singer).

"Sadly I need to tell you that Antti had much more better things to do, than come to Käärijä's concert."

"He is somewhere in Spain, with an oiled chest. Macarena- or what is that song."

"But we are trying to give our respects to him. He is apparently quitting his career, good for me, he made me some room. Thank you Antti."

"Antti was Finland's best live performer, notice "he was". Who is it now? I do not know."

"But- I was thinking we could do it for you guys (his and Antti's song "Auto jää".) We can respect Antti and- this sounds like a funeral speech. He is alive. And is doing well. Is doing better than ever."

"Antti, if you are watching this somewhere, I don't know somewhere. But if you are not watching then all the best for you. See you in Spain."

"Let's get going."

"You can sing along! I have no idea how these lyrics go, but let's try."

---

"Thank you."

"Pity that Antti didn't come."

"Antti did not come and you can't do anything about it."

(I don't know how to translate the word "onpa" but he says that a few times. Basically a word to start a sentence)

"I don't know, this makes me speechless. (the sound is not working) And now my headset is starting to get broken. I am absolutely messed up over here. I am not drunk but otherwise I'm messed up."

"There is- hey (points into the crowd) you put me messages about that hat, didn't you? Yes. Think about this, there is this one person who made a- I don't know how many weeks or months it took you to make that- that hat. Hat. First they were flexing me like "Look at this hat" and I was like oh that is kinda cool "Do you want this?".

(The person starts to point at the hat and ask does Käärijä want it)

"Why would I take it, it's yours!! Dear lord- no I can't- maybe later."

"Quite a hustle and bustle."

"Shall we continue still?"

(Crowd cheers)

"Yes we will continue- I am trying to look if there are any- all of you are my friends. And that much I want to say that welcome to Käärijä's family."

(Cheering)

"Even if you don't want to, now you are a part of Käärijä's family, because you came here. You have sold your souls to Käärijä.

(Cheers"

"And I hope everyone respects each other here, because otherwise I will come there and no one will have fun anymore."

"Because there are small family members here, so I hope they too will see something. So if there is a little Lassi somewhere in there, then take that Lassi and carry him so he could see too. Or then they can come here 10 years later."

"I feel like that 5 year old Lassi is as tall as me. Or what was its name. But I guess-"

"Okay then we will do a few new songs. We released this mixtape and decided to do those songs as well. I am kinda terrified already, (looks at a paper on the floor) and I went to look what were the names of the songs."

"Are they- Are these the songs? Well I guess there is no other choice but to do these."

"Are there anyone who bought that mixtape?"

"Well they did not sell that well but- that is why I am not even wearing a shirt on."

(A pink guy whispers something to him)

"What?"

"Is it the wrong song? That was the wrong song."

"What was it?"

"Well it was Mic mac."

"Sorry for that, I am still kinda in Liverpool, but well just ignore that."

"Let's play Mic mac then."

"If someone knows this legendary dance, you are allowed to dance."

---

"There is a mini Käärijä. Hello."

"That is cool. Is that my missing bolero? That was- you never returned it. But that's okay, it is yours now."

"Who else do we have here. What is that, a Pokemon card, a Bulbasaur- so many gifts here again."

"You guys are- a finnish flag- yes I know where we are."

"Someone came here "Really, Käärijä can't remember. We should show him that he is here in Finland, and no more in Liverpool!"

"Draw me a tattoo."

"Now you are- I will come there at some point. You are- you are- you are going hard over there, there is absolutely no sense in this."

"Dear lord."

"Does anyone else want a tattoo? I have the equipments over there."

"When this career in music starts going downhill, I was thinking about- well I guess I need to have a tattoo shop then, because so many want to take one."

"Alright, let's do more new songs then. Is that ok?"

(Crowd says yes)

"Well this is the first time we are doing these live, so give us some air and mercy. We are a bit confused, but that's the spirit."

"Let's go."

---

"Thank you."

"That went surprisingly well. A bit of confusion, but that is okay. Forgive me."

"And then there would be this "Morgan", has anyone heard it?"

(cheering)

"I can tell you, yesterday when we were practicing it- it was horrifying to watch. Let's hope it is today, just as horrifying to watch."

"So let's go!"

---

"Thank you (starts laughing)"

"Guys, you should never present a song you learned yesterday."

"But that went quite well, didn't it?"

"Yeah, the same thing was with Eurovision. I learned the lyrics a day before the show, and it went well!"

"Hey it is absolutely amazing. Life ain't so serious. It's good to go wild sometimes, but like nicely, no stupid things."

"I also want to say hey to the back row."

(cheering)

"Käärijä's concerts rarely have a back row, but now there is one."

"That is very nice, welcome here. I hope you can see something, I'm kinda a tiny short guy."

"People have been talking about how tall Käärijä is. So you know what?"

"I don't know."

"That's it."

"Let's go to the next song!"

---

"That kind. That song."

"Hey, a question. Always interesting a question like this."

"How many people knew about Käärijä before UMK?"

(Crowd answers)

"Not everyone could have know no. Where have you been those days? When Käärijä sang lonely gigs? In Pudasjärvi, in a corner of a pizzeria. Haven't seen you guys there."

"How many of you, Käärijä was not really known, before UMK?"

(Crowd answers again)

"Well now it badly seems like, people are trying to get pity pints to Käärijä. Same guys who said "Yes I have listened" raised their hands in "I haven't listened"."

"Well it is what it is. That I will never know. Numbers will know."

(The person with a tattoo sign is waving their sign)

"You are still swinging there. We should take a hotel room later, now take it easy. We will make that tattoo."

"Wow. Are there- How many made a bolero?"

(People raise their hands, one guy is jumping, Käärijä points at him)

"You. The same crazy person again here. I can never get rid of you. Now you have some kind of a teddy bear with you. What gig was it- it was Lap- Lappeenranta?"

"This guy stole the whole show."

"You got paid and everything."

"Yes well- yes no wonder Kärtsäri is not driving around with a fancy car when this one guy takes it all (the money)."

(The guy takes his wig off)

"Put that potty back you looked better in it."

"Hey I want to- there is a bolero. I first of all want to thank you- I am usually not the one to say thank you, I am that kind of a person who is not thanking everyone. That's not who I am. Thanking everyone is more of Antti's thing, not mine."

"But I want to say, to all the families that there here. Are there any families here?"

(Crowd answers)

"I assumed at first of course that "Yess there are families here". And nobody came. Let's just say, the smallest family members welcome here, and I hope parents know where they just took their kids. And I try to behave accordingly, today. This is the last time."

"This is the coolest thing that has happened to me, honestly."

(Crowd cheers)

"There- there in Liverpool the fact that there were 15 thousand people and 250 million people watching from TV, this is much cooler. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"Even if I lie a lot, I am not lying about this."

"Okay shall we continue?"

"Hey, will any shirts come off? Next up is Paidaton riehuja (shirtless rampage) so will any come off? There! There went one."

"Remember at Käärijä's concert we are all family, so you can take off your shirt no matter gender or who you are. Of course be aware of the smallest family members, so they wont get trauma."

(Points at the crowd)

"What kind of a duck costume are you wearing?"

"You have come to the wrong concert, no but let's go."

---

(Käärijä goes near the crowd.)

"Thank you"

"Like that."

(Someones money drops)

"Your money dropped here."

(A little kid in a pink dress comes next to Käärijä)

"You- oh goddaughter even came here. Go fast to your mother or you'll drown there (in the crowd)."

(People give him stuff. Käärijä leads the kid back)

"Are these for me? Thank you. Amazing. (girl's name maybe?)"

(Käärijä goes back to the stage)

"I'll go back to the stage, I didn't go back home like some of you thought."

(Someone in the crowd shouts something, I am not sure what)

"It will come, it will come. It is the next one actually."

"Let's see. First time ever I had to do a set list. Because there are like 16 songs here."

"I am not sure what these songs are, but here they are."

"What are these songs? Do we even have time to do these all? Hey, before Urheilujätkä, there will be Hirttää kiinni."

"Is that okay?"

(He asks "Hirttääkö jengillä kiinni? Hyvä niin minullakin", not sure how to translate it right.)

---

"Kärtsäri's concert haven't had this kind of a feeling in a long time."

"Old man's pump is starting to fail, I hope our first aid is ready. Okay no that was a joke, no need to worry."

(Watching fan signs)

"What is there? "Greetings to mom and dad" my parents? Do you have something to say to my dad? "Cha cha cha, hirttää kiinni ja Mic mac" very well... "

"That is a cool sign, I need to give you my respects. My apartment is full of drawings, and shoes and socks and... I sleep on top of all the fan made things... and I don't have the money to move to a bigger apartment yet, but maybe someday for sure."

(Points to the crowd)

"Why are you jumping over there?"

"Cool is your bolero, what is it made of? Sheets maybe? No, just kidding, it's amazing."

(Cameraman is filming a fan with a sign "Make a <3 if you think Bojan is hot" Käärijä sadly did not notice :( Love the fan for trying)

"Soon we will give you some cha cha cha. And and well not yet, I tricked you guys a little, but soon."

"Before that, I would like to ask some people- wait I need to check who I was supposed to ask here."

"Yeah my memory left in- I need to say that this journey from Liverpool- no actually from UMK to here has really been a journey of some kind. And you people have made me come through it. I must say that if people think that this kind of life is just some highlight and very cool- this is very cool yes, but there are a lot of dark sides into this."

But I must say that the moment I see so many people here because of me- Dear lord."

"If my mom comes here well that is normal, but this many people, I am not sure how many is just wow. Nobody probably bought their own ticket here. You won your tickets from some cereal packet or-"

"Hey next I would like to ask people here on the stage. First of all I am asking my friend, who is actually the reason why I am on music business at all, and I have learned a lot from him and he is a dear friend. We have been through some hardships but we are still friends and I hope it stays like that, so now with a big applause welcome to the stage Soni!!! (I think it was Soni)"

(crowd cheers)

Soni: "Good evening"

Käärijä: "Pay your debts"

Soni:: "Tomorrow"

Käärijä: "Welcome to the stage"

Soni: "Thank you thank you"

"And next I would like to ask, one friend, who we made the first Käärijä song with and my best friend. Who was with me in Liverpool as an interpreter but he didn't get to do anything cause I became so good in English. My English is kinda good nowadays."

"Yes yes mister worldwide here"

"Applause to Jesse!!!!!"

"And before all this I will go get this one shirt. Where is it? Here."

Soni: "Does anyone have lamps on their phones? Could we get those up for the next song?"

Jesse: "This is the moment"

"This is very awkward to wear this shirt on. But is e here, is uncle Jaska here somewhere? Sportguy himself."

"He is not. Hey now it looks cool. Are you ready before the big final? Let's go!"

---

""Well that was a journey."

Joni: "What a circus."

"Jesse over here has played hockey before. Can't believe he is here now. Well career didn't start on that area and Jesse is not doing anything in this area either."

"Hey a few songs left I hope you have all enjoyed. Tomorrow I will go to a vacation so don't try to contact me. I won't answer. Cause now Kärtsäri needs a vacation."

"A few songs left and then you can all go to home to sleep. Are you ready?"

"I'll go take my shirt of and then we will continue."

(Someone shouts take your pants off)

"Pants off? These pants are stuck in my skin. So they won't leave. If you didn't know I actually sleep in these."

"Journey has been hard and it has a prize and that we pay."

"Next we will have a tense atmosphere"

"So let's continue."

---

(Crowd shouts Cha cha cha)

---

"Thank you!!!!"

"Give a big applause to yourselves! Give a big applause to the dancers! And give a big applause to my pink friends!"

"Do you want it to play again?"

"DO YOU WANT IT AGAIN?"

"Okay let's do it, now everyone goes as hard as they can!"

---

"Thank you!"

"Dear god, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Now my tank is empty and I will go to a vacation. remember to take a break and have a vacation."

"I will remember this always, I don't remember anything from the Eurovision show but this I will always remember. Thank you!"

"And I hope we can take one family photo. Everyone here, YLE will shut the TV soon. Okay good, good. And you can lift our hands."

(Crowd is chanting "Winner! Winner! Winner!")

"Thank you! See you in the future and maybe somewhere else!"

"Thank you, thank you. Goodbye!"

---

And with that I have decided to never translate anything ever again. Why did I think this would take an hour max? Anyway I hope this was useful to someone out there. It was a fun protect and after this, my English exam better be a 10.

GOODNIGHT!!!!! <3

[cringecompanionapologist]

I Swear I Thought of This Months Ago: Different Doctors in Midnight

The thing with Midnight is that shit goes wrong because it's a companion-lite episode. The two people the Midnight Entity singled out to possess where the two people traveling alone. They were easy to isolate from the group. If the Doctor's not traveling alone here, and there's this human who came in with him just going along with whatever he's doing, it's going to seem less suspicious. So, what would happen to any Doctor in Midnight is based more on their companions than the Doctor. Donna took the day off of adventuring to enjoy the spa. Not all companions would do that. First Doctor: He may get on everyone's nerves, but he's going to have a granddaughter with him and people will judge him less harshly because he has a family. You've got a couple with their teenage son there. They see an old grandpa with a granddaughter the same age as their son, they're going to see him as someone like them. As for the granddaughters, Susan wouldn't want to leave her grandfather and Vicki canonically is more interested in adventures than relaxation. I'm less sure about Dodo, because nobody is sure about Dodo. She's a wild card.

Second Doctor: A group of people in a small space menaced by a monster? Might as well be a base under siege. He's in his element here. He also tends to be better at understanding human nature than most Doctors, so even if he was alone, he might not end up quite so isolated. And he wouldn't be alone. Out of a combination of loyalty and discomfort with spa environments, Jamie would definitely be with him.

Third Doctor: Following the Doctor around on his adventures is literally what Jo was hired to do. She'll be the one telling everyone that the Doctor is an expert on basically everything and she trusts him so they should too. If they try to throw him out she'll try to either take his place or go with him and nobody will want to hurt her. Nobody wants to hurt Jo. Even the Master didn't want to hurt Jo.

Fourth Doctor: When Four shows up somewhere, being weird, acting like he owns the place, and having way too much fun in a crisis, people tend to sort of roll with it. It's a superpower he has. But, if we want to turn the superpower off, we've sort of got three eras to consider. Sarah Jane would probably follow the Doctor, since she's still a holdover from Three's "companions are literally the Doctor's assistants" era. Leela would not understand the appeal of a spa and would threaten people into listening to the Doctor. As for Romana...Okay, we've got another Time Lord. I actually don't know. She'll probably go with him and might have slightly more luck with the locals.

Fifth Doctor: Really depends on the TARDIS team. Tegan's going to take the goddamn spa day and will talk Nyssa into going with her if she's around. If it's just Nyssa, she'll go with the Doctor and everyone loves Nyssa, so everything will be fine. Turlough is going to enjoy a pleasant day off. He can relax, do a bit of sketching, and not have to deal with yet another traumatic incident. Adric would not understand the idea of a spa, call it stupid, get into a fight with Tegan, and if he wasn't going with the Doctor before this, the Doctor would insist purely to separate the two and restore order. Adric has no social skills, so he wouldn't exactly make the Doctor look better, but like with One and his various granddaughter companions, the family on the train would be more comfortable with a family man.

Sixth Doctor: The classic Doctors have done well so far but Six is probably fucked. Peri would probably like a day off from him and the violent shit that happens around him. Mel might try to get him to stay at the spa for health purposes. I don't know the EU well, but Evelyn might have a chance of coming along and getting him to behave, but no promises for anyone else.

Seventh Doctor: Of course Ace is there. Yet another Doctor passes as a family man and it's easy.

Eighth Doctor: I don't know the EU well and Eight is the Whoops All EU Doctor, but he seems to pick up companions that would follow him around here, being all human and convincing the humans not to bully him. But, considering Eight's luck, they'd probably try to throw him out of the train anyway and he'd end up traumatized again.

Ninth Doctor: Might actually consider just spending the day at the spa, but if he gets bored and goes on an adventure, Rose probably gonna follow him. The day is saved with the Power of Love or something.

Eleventh Doctor: Amy wants to go with the Doctor despite Rory's protests. There's a lot of bickering but they get out fine.

Twelfth Doctor: Clara is his carer who cares so he doesn't have to, so preventing Midnight incidents is sort of what she's there for. For Bill, this would be an educational experience. Twelve gets on everybody's nerves a bit, and he gives a speech about how stupid everyone's being, which doesn't actually help, and he'll probably end up getting punched in the face, but not thrown out of the train.

Thirteenth Doctor: She tells her companions to just enjoy themselves and wanders off alone. If they insist on following her, and Yaz probably would, we're fine. If she successfully ditches her companions, she's in trouble. She'll openly admit to being socially awkward, but I'm not sure if that would actually help in this situation.

Fourteenth Doctor: He's retired. He's probably staying with Donna. If not, everything mainly goes the same as it does with Ten, but it feels more cruel.

Fifteenth Doctor: Ruby would go with him and he's actually pretty good with people anyway. I'm guessing the Fourteen remembered being Ten and regenerated into someone unlikely to be thrown out of a train on a death planet just in case.

[seullovesme]

Hi I saw you write for nmixx so can I request a childhood friends to lovers fic with Sullyoon? Thanks!

enchanted » seol yoona

pairing ⥬ sullyoon x childhood bff!reader

genre ⥬ fluff at the end

summary ⥬ after making a new friend, sullyoon slowly starts to spend more of her time with her rather than with you. "please don't be in love with someone else.."

warnings ⥬ slight angst, reader is lowkey jealous

WC ⥬ 1.9k

you sigh at your phone, yet another message was left on read by the one girl you looked forward to messaging each day. you shut it off, flipping it over to look at the polaroid of the two of you.

you were cheek to cheek, smiling as wide as possible as you hugged her tightly. it was taken by her mother right after your 17th birthday that you had spent with her, and it was one of your most treasured pictures together as it was also the day you realized you had fallen for her. it was both a blessing and a curse to have noticed her effect on you.

after discovering your romantic feelings for yoona, every moment felt like it was magnified times ten. every hug, every touch, every laugh, you felt every second of each moment in the depths of your heart, and even quiet times where nobody would say anything was enough to make you want to cry in happiness. she felt closer than before.

the downside is now you're too aware of her distance.

just a couple of weeks ago, she had mentioned that she had met a girl at her part-time job at the cafe and she was introduced to you a few days later. her new friend was gorgeous. her name was kim minji and she was also working at that cafe, still under training by your best friend.

you had a nice time meeting her, which you had told yoona afterwards when she was bugging you about your thoughts on her new buddy. minji was nothing but kind and fun to talk to. maybe that's why yoona began to talk to her more than she did with you.

after that week, she would tell you all about the funny things that happened during her time training minji and how much she loved to spend time with her. you listened to every word she said with a smile on your face, trying to ignore the way your heart wavered at her words. she was allowed to have friends, so you weren't going to tell her you were just jealous because she had fun with someone else.

over time, it only got worse for you. you reminded yourself that you weren't jealous of kim minji every time your best friend had told you she was already going out with her whenever you asked to hangout, but her time was always spent with her new best friend. "sorry, not this friday, me and minji are gonna go shopping!", "omg you won't believe what minji did at work today!", "do you think minji would like the cafe we always go to?", it was always her.

there was a point where you couldn't handle the pain anymore and started to return the energy by ignoring her messages, turning down all her hangout invites, and you stopped visiting her house. you were hoping that she would ask what was wrong, or at least acknowledge that something in your friendship changed, but she didn't seem to even notice. probably distracted by that kim minji..

but how could you hate her? she was only ever kind to you and you could tell that your shy best friend had so easily opened up to this girl, so why did you want to hate her so badly?

you screamed into your pillow, punching it over and over, letting your heart pour out every emotion that was tearing away at it. you yelled and cried, freeing the bottled up frustration, and it was starting to kinda relieve that straining ache in your chest. you calmed down and sat there with a hand over where your heart sits, feeling how fast it was beating as your chest rose and fell.

loud footsteps thundered from behind your room door. before you had any time to react, a troubled yoona bursted through, panting heavily. "y/n!" she called, worried laced in her tone. she dashed to you and cupped your face in her hands. you barely had time to process and the fact that your cheeks were a thousand degrees didn't help. she moved your face to observe every inch, her eyebrows tensed in concern.

"yoona, what are you doing.." you asked shyly. she stopped moving you and just looked into your eyes as if she was searching for answers in them.

she let go and sighed loudly. "you were screaming, and i thought you got hurt. why are you crying?"

"when did you get here, or why are you here?" you ignore her question, confused on why she randomly decided to show up at your home. she just nervously tapped her knee as her eyes darted around your room. she pulled out her phone for a moment, seeming to be reading over something. she set her phone down onto your side table.

"i'll be right back, don't go anywhere. i have something for you." she says quickly before leaving your room at the speed of light, leaving you no time to clear up your confusion. she really never gives you any time to react at all.

you hear a buzz come from your nightstand and you look to see yoona's phone screen shining brightly, still open from when she was using it. another buzz was heard. you contemplated on picking it up, not knowing if she would be okay with it, but you two always shared your phones. your curiosity got the best of you and you picked it up.

3 notifications from "minji 🤩🤩🤩"

you clicked on the notification, opening their text messages together.

your hand hovered over your mouth, covering the way your jaw fell after reading through the most recent texts. you dropped yoona's phone onto the floor, the crash echoing through the silent room. yoona stood at the doorway and watched as the phone hit the ground. she knew you saw something you shouldn't have.

she ran to the phone and flipped it, seeing that her dms were open. she looked up at you and tried to decipher what that face meant. were you happy? mad? sad? she couldn't tell if you being so flabbergasted was a good thing or a bad one. "listen y/n–"

"you like me? wait no, you're in love with me?" you asked at a whisper level. yoona felt like crawling into a shell. she wanted to hide from the confrontation, but she had to do it eventually.

she inhaled. "yes, i'm in love with you. i've known that since we were 13." she sighed and hid her face into her palms. "i didn't mean for you to find out like this, i wanted to confess with flowers and a beautiful dinner, maybe even see the sunset together. not in your bedroom with you accidentally finding out because i was stupid and left my phone here. i.. love you and i will keep loving you, so don't be afraid to tell me you don't feel the same. we'll always be the best of friends and i can learn to–" she stopped talking to catch you as you jumped into her, wrapping your arms around her neck.

"we're so silly.. yoona, i had no idea that you even thought of me romantically, i thought that.." you paused to look away, a little shy to admit it out loud. "i thought you fell for minji." it was her turn to be the surprised one. you pulled onto your bed, seating her right beside you, shoulder to shoulder. her head turned to you and she realized how close the two of you really were, getting a bit red.

"minji? why minji?"

"well, you always spent more time with her after you met her. even when you weren't with her, you would talk about her. it just seemed like kim minji was the only girl who clouded your mind." you muttered the last sentence, feeling shy saying that straight up. the corner of yoona's lips started to curl up.

"you've got it all wrong. you are the only girl who clouds my mind, not minji. she's just one of my closest friends and besides, i'm pretty sure she has a girlfriend."

"then why do you always talk about her like she's the only thing you ever think about?" you complain, huffing as you cross your arms. your jealousy is only adorable to yoona because you're acting like a sad puppy, which makes her giggle.

"i was always worried that if i didn't talk about minji, then i would end up thinking about you and how much i just want to hold you."

"why? did you not want to?"

"what? of course i did, but i didn't want you to see it wrong. after that night of your 17th birthday, my feelings were only growing stronger and we were so close, i didn't want to ruin years of pure happiness with you just because of my dumb heart." she put her hand over her heart, trying to calm it down. "i wanted to kiss you that day, every second i was with you i thought about doing it. you were glowing and just so happy, and seeing you be so vibrant because we spent the day together.. it gave me hope that you loved me the way i loved you."

when she finished, you remained silent, looking into her eyes. tell her you love her, tell her you love her, tell her you–

"well i do, i love you the same way you love me."

the girl was speechless. yoona felt like she was floating, pouncing on you the moment your words settled in. you laughed as she hugged you tightly. you laid back on your bed and kept her in your arms, cuddling her into your side. she let go to sit up, staring at your lips.

as soon as you smiled, she leaned down and kissed you. you melted into the kiss you had been dreaming about for so long, loving how her lips felt on yours. you only stopped because you both needed to breathe, otherwise you would have continued. nothing about the kiss was sexual, but instead felt like every feeling, emotion, and desire you both had been holding in for so long.

"i've been waiting for that." she says while catching her breath. "it feels good to be near you, it feels like forever since i last saw you."

"and whose fault is that?" you raise an eyebrow at her, clearly accusing her of being the reason. she gasps in offense.

"me?! you're the one who's been turning me down!" she shoots back in a lighthearted manner.

you scoff. "okay, the hypocrisy is insane, you've been turning me down to hang out with minji!"

yoona opens her mouth to say something, but closes it when she realizes that she has been doing that. she lays back down and places her arm around your torso, pulling you into her. "alright, alright. you're right, i have been doing that, but it was within reason. the one where i didn't want to ruin everything." you let out an airy laugh at how dumb that sounded. you both were so clueless that avoiding your love for each other was actually the thing keeping you apart.

"i know, it's okay. don't do that anymore. from now on, let's be 100 percent honest with each other about things like this." yoona nods in agreement, snuggling against your neck.

it was nice to finally be able to love the girl of your dreams, your best friend, your soulmate, and call her yours.

[bibibbon]

After reading your post about "How a story about Nine and Deku would go?" I notice it ends in the Overhaul arc, which is interesting because Chisaki and Midoriya have as much untaped potential for a character dynamic if not even more.

Like you know, considering the most defining character factor of Kai is precisely how he hates quirks and considerers them a sickness, we don't even know what he thinks about quirkless people or if he even interacted with one of them. Perhaps Horikoshi didn't make it happen because it would show other less evil side of Chisaki? We don't know.

And look, when the main character literally used to be a quirkless person who's biggest dream was have a quirk to fit in a world full of them and could use it to be a hero, don't you think Chisaki would have something to say about that if he founds what kind of person Midoriya was? Something like that demands character interactions! That potential...

I bet Kai will go crazy by the fact a "pure" human being accepted and was obsessed to have the sickness. But I'd like to imagine it wouldn't stop there.

Chisaki has resources to get any info so I imagine after he connects the points and investigate the past of Midoriya, he would found that he was in fact disgnosed as a quirkless person and also find that he suffered discrimination his whole life until the moment he finally got a quirk somehow. (Chisaki at least will assume correctly that Midoriya's quirk has to be something unnatural given to him).

So the next time Deku and Overhaul interact, Chisaki will obviously pull the information he has about Midoriya and give a little rant about his situation, and ask some obvious questions: "Do you think this ideal life you seem to seek would be the same if you never got sick? Those friends of yours would appreciate you the same way if you don't have any 'quirk'?" The kind of question Deku should have in canon, but he doesn't because it would bring awkward question for other characters.

The exchange could be seen as a bit manipulative from Chisaki’s side, but I like to think he would show a real interest of Midoriya to give him an answer and have a bit of instrospection about himself.

In my mind, just like Nine makes Deku think about what really means be the strongest and what the world expects from people with potential, Overhaul would make Midoriya question his value as a person and would be one of the first individuals on challenge Deku on his view about himself.

Like is he the hero Izuku Midoriya or just a vessel for a power greater than himself and nobody sees him as something else? Does he even want to know the answer to that question?

Not to mention, Kai could even talk about some of the person in the Shie Hassaikai and how their lifes were tragically affected by just born with their quirks. For a quirk nerd like Deku the canon story should have have at some point give him a hit of reality and show him not all quirks are blessing that could be used for good just by training or having "consuelling", so a possible cure might not be the craziest idea then.

It would be fun having Deku scratching his head because two villains bring important existential questions to his life, and makes him think "well they sort have a point...".

And what it's more funny is that Nine and Overhaul are essentially opposite poles idealogy wise, so they will have this weird traingle of exchanges in which Deku doesn't know who he prefers to listen. Being a hero seemed easier when it was just punch crazy people like Muscular huh?

Hi @nyc3 👋

Iam going to be honest me ending the what if situation with nine and izuku in the overhaul arc was never intentional but it's definitely interesting to see the way you have chosen to interpret it.

You aren't wrong in saying that overhaul and izuku had a ton of wasted potential going on and that the series never truly delved into how complex their interactions could of been the same idea stands with overhaul and shigaraki.

As we see in the overhaul arc it is stated that overhaul thinks of quirks as a disease and while I have seen many theorise that overhaul would love a quirkless izuku as he isn't infected I would argue otherwise. Actually, I would argue that there is a key hypocrisy innate in overhauls character that should be explored. Yes, overhaul views quirks as diseases, but he constantly utilises them and benefits from them. This can be seen when tomura calls him out for it before destroying overhauls' arms and therefore rendering him quirkless.

Within a society where the majority have a superpower that was originally labelled as an "individuality," not having a superpower basically means that you're nothing. Quirks have become a special uniqueness that people hold onto, and its a special uniqueness that completely defines an individual from the moment they receive it. If you don't have individuality, then what are you in society? That's the belief that the mha society holds, and it's exactly why Izuku is described to be "plain" when there are many more ordinary type characters like naomasa. In a society with superpowers, what can a nobody do?

From a young age, society has installed it into the peoples minds that quirks are everything, and that truth also holds for overhaul. Quirks are everything overhaul knows and believes in this. We see that he does because the reason he decides to remove filthy quirks from this society is because he wants the yakuza to regain their place as the top in the underground. Quirks changed everything and overhaul hates that change so he will do everything he can to make everything go back to order, to what its supposed to be even if it means that he has to torture a child for it.

Ultimately, overhaul wanted to change society in a way. He has a point. While this change that he wanted to bring on was for the sake of the yakuza and returning to former glory that he never experienced, overhaul acknowledges that quirks are the defining factor to ones life. A good quirk almost guarantees a good life, whereas a bad quirk guarantees a bad life. This is something that both izuku and nine know but with different meanings and understanding.

Overhaul is shown to do anything to derail and destroy quirks and this absurd system as he wants to go back to normality a life with no superpowers. Yes, this is for his own desires and greed. He abused and tortured a child to do it. He manipulated a child into becoming a symbol for what he wanted her to become. In the end, overhaul became what he sought to destroy. He saw the system, he recognised its harm, yet he still contributed heavily to it and forced an innocent child to go through unspeakable things.

Izuku and overhaul are contrasts in this arc. They're both intelligent people with varying different views that may overlap. I do think that overhaul could definitely be the catalyst to Izuku starting to think deeper about his quirklessness. Overhaul, the man who sees quirkless as the normality telling someone who was discrimated against that they're normal would and should send izuku somewhat spiralling. Taking into account that while izuku did become a hero to save people a huge part of his became a hero to fit in. To belong to a cause but now he is being told and somewhat shown that quirks will be the nd of humanity that being quirkless isn't that bad?

This would ultimately help develop both overhaula and izuku as overhaul delves deeper into his own hypocrisy and realises that being quirkless doesn't mean being useless as society thinks, and the same applies for izuku.

On the other hand, izuku would end up showing overhaul the wrong of his ways. Harming a child to return the yakuza to former glory is more than wrong.

While i do think that overhaul may use Eri's own story of her reversing her grandfather out of existence as a way to prove to izuku how dangerous quirks are. It would be interesting to see izuku converse with overhaul reciting points that society fed to him from a young age. "With proper counselling, eri would be fine." Yes, but the counselling system is obviously flawed. The majority of these villains have been failed by quirk counselling. It doesn't help, and it hasn't helped all it done was make people suppress to fit into this thin line of normality.

Counselling could have definitely involved the quirkless it could have allowed people to thrive and explore their individuality, yet it doesn't. Support items are literally only sold to heroes and aren't accessible for normal citizens, so what doesn't that mean for people who need them but can't afford them? Yuuga can barely function without his, so what about the rest?

Overhaul could have helped deconstruct izukus views while Izuku could have helped in changing some of overhauls views.

An interesting development those two could have been!

[thetraumaking]

The Accursed Crown:

Other Chapters

Chapter 8: An Unsocialized Pup

Once word of the princess's ability to fire bending spread. Her formal training officially began. And what better teacher than you?

Her father and grandfather were pleased with her fast growth. So much so that they gathered all the nobles and had a feast in her name. She was surrounded by praises and gifts.

She looked over at her brother. In a corner still holding tight to their mother. Many have shown grievance to her for having such a disgrace in the position of a role model. 'Don't be silly, there wasn't a moment in my life where I ever looked for his guidance.'

She enjoyed it tremendously when the adults shared a panicked laugh before awkwardly excusing themselves. Just as quickly they left, another group was as quick to take their place. And once more they filled her with more praises and compliments, asking for her schedule to see if they could present their children to her.

Playdates, how childish. She's far too busy for such pesky activities.

Closing her eyes, she folded her arms, blocking out the chattering adults. She was getting bored, the whole event was fun but now it's getting repetitive.

"If you have nothing else to say, you are dismissed." She loudly announced. It was okay to do so since her father and grandfather had already retired early. Besides, the party was for her, so she has the right to reign over it however she pleases.

Without waiting for the others to reply, she walked past them and naturally, they made way. Her headpiece was not heavy but after hours of wearing it, it became uncomfortable, she needed you to take it off for her and help her into her nightgown. The sun had long since gone, it was time for bed.

Her search came to a halt when she saw you on the balcony... with someone. Someone she doesn't know.

Her steps came to a halt when she saw the stranger grab your shoulder. What astonished her most was that you didn't show any signs of discomfort. She has seen you being touched(mostly by her mother and occasionally by Zuko) but you would more often than not make some sort of negative reaction. Your eyes would narrow or you would clench your fist or just ever so subtly roll your shoulders or straighten your back.

Wanting to take a closer look at the stranger and hear what the two of you were talking about, she snuck behind the curtain and crouched down.

Frowning, she cursed the party, it was too loud. Thanks to the music and the nobles' desperate attempt to acquaint themselves with those of higher ranking, she couldn't hear what you and the stranger were talking about. Though she did get a better look at, his? face.

Very short black hair, thick eyebrows, brown eyes, and cheeks on the hollow side with the number 167 branded on it. The man looked tired but he was smiling... at you.

Azula's jaw clenched.

His outfit was nothing to look at, a typical combat suit. But there was one thing that stood out. A phoenix pendant. Though not as defined as yours, but a phoenix nonetheless.

Which means that he also went to that camp.

You and him must have trained together or were at least in sister companies. She guesses that's how you knew him. But recalling what you have told her about the pendants, only those who are of higher "quality" graduates get to have a more defined pendent.

'The phoenix must reflect its owner,' her father once said.

It was strange for her to see you so at ease around others. The interactions she has seen of you were either being ordered by her family or you ordering the maids and guards.

Her eyes still lingered on you and that offending hand of that still rested on your shoulder. How dare this nameless nobody act so casual around you? Is he trying to get you in trouble for fraternization?

You are leaps and bounds above his league, and you are of a higher rank.

With her hands clenched, she stood up. She's not letting you get in trouble for someone like him. You had taken care of her when her own mother abandoned her, now it's her turn to return the favor.

Purposely clearing her throat loudly, she marched with the confidence of a general. She smirked when the man beside you immediately bowed. At least he knows his place. She was worried that your attention might have gone over his head.

Seeing that he had gotten enough attention from his higher to last him a lifetime, she ignored him. Instead, she looked at you, "We're done here, everyone that matters has already left. I wanna go to my room."

Without wasting another moment, she turned and began walking away from the still-bowing man, knowing full well that you would be on her heels.

While walking past her mother and brother, she heard her say something.

"Goodnight, Zuko. I love you-"

'Love you.'

That word played in her head. Mother loves Zuko.

Her gaze shifted to the side, staring at you. Then at your hand.

Quietly, she reached over and held your hand. She looked at you for any reaction and fortunately, you were fine.

Well, of course, if that man could touch you, why couldn't she? And every eyes and ears have heard and seen how close the two of you are.

With their hands swinging ever so lightly, Azula couldn't help but ask. "6, what's love?"

You let out a hum, thinking over your answer before you say it, "I wouldn't be able to give you an exact definition. Love isn't just one thing, as there are many shades within a color, love takes many forms. Love can be platonic, romantic, sexual, possessive, obsessive, unrequited, forbidden, and so on." She watched you take a deep breath, a thoughtful expression came across your face before you continued.

"Due to my lack of experience, I don't know what it is but I do know what it isn't. Love isn't the attraction or the sense of understanding you feel with broken or troubled people. It's not love if you wish and dream about the past or the regrets you might have of doing things differently. And love isn't changing yourself for the other or dreaming about pleasant scenarios together."

Her brows furrowed. "I'm... confused. But back to the first part, to the types of love. How do you tell them apart?"

"By your intentions."

There was a silence after that. The two of you had stopped walking at some point.

For some reason, Azula felt her throat dry out. Swallowing her nerves, she decided to push through, "do you love me?"

"Do you want me to say it?"

She shook her head, no.

For her, the silent confession was enough.

[zahri-melitor]

Finished Batman: The Knight.

Oh my god is this a good comic. It very much reminded me that Zdarsky and I are on very similar wavelengths in terms of what we look for in a story. This felt like, no joke, someone had picked my brain of what I expected to see and had envisioned existed during the events of Bruce's training quest, and presented it to me on a platter, divided between 9 separate masters, each chosen and elaborated out of various hints and suggestions over the years.

It wasn't perfect; some of these mentors and masters were in effect standing in as a summary of multiple known characters with these skillsets, while others altered and shifted earlier versions of this history to fit better. But it made for a coherent update, and cleaned up a lot of pre-Crisis and early post-Crisis conception of this period that no longer fitted together as neatly, and sorted out the timings, and made it make sense.

For instance, we know there are multiple single blow techniques, from various secret masters. Shiva knows most if not all of them, and we know of several different masters and traditions who have them (O-Sensei, Richard Dragon and Ben Turner: the Leopard Blow; Legless Master: the Whispering Hand; Master Kirigi: the Vibrating Palm Strike). Shiva also knows The Scapel, The Wind Through the Reeds, The Lion's Paw, Wave and Shore, and the Skullcrack.

But Bruce doesn't need to learn all of those in the course of this story. He needs to learn one, as a representation of that period of his education. And so Master Kirigi got pulled forward to be the representative of the set.

We got more Henri Ducard, and a Ducard that was back to his pre-Flashpoint version. We had Giovanni Zatara and Zatanna. We had Lucie as a stand in for Selina's teachers. We actually got two teachers in the realms of 'stupid shit Bruce has done to his brain': but in this case we got to offset Hugo Strange (who could not trick Bruce, and who must always fundamentally know who Bruce is even as nobody believes him) with Daniel Captio, who is allowed to train Bruce in weird mental techniques and stands in for everyone else (Professor Milo. Dr Hurt. Whoever convinced him to do the Thögal Ritual. Etc etc)

It was elegant. And I don't think it needed any more of Ra's and Talia in it than it had; indeed what we got was a tight compression of some Denny O'Neil and some Mike Barr Ra's story themes into the underlying fundamental origin of the relationship, but not a full discussion of all its features. There are so many more stories out there further elaborating on their many conflicts.

Also Zdarsky does love Tim so much and had fun with parallels and I laughed several times in issue 10 because apparently we were playing Like Father Like Son. Love some good family theming going on in Al Ghul conflict.

It's just been such a while since I had the experience of sitting down and reading a story that in many ways felt like something I had already believed, but had never seen spelled out, and knew that how I wanted it to go in my head contradicted some known comics beats. This smoothed those contradictions out and gave me how I had wanted to conceptualise all of this.

[hockeyforbabes]

Birds of a Feather Ch. 5

MASTER LIST

Content warning: making out but nothing crazy

Addie's POV

It's been a week since Luke and I both admitted we wanted to take a shot at something between us. So far both of us have been too shy to make any real moves.

It's been a week of stolen glances and secret touches. Both of us knowing a little secret we want something more. It was fun at first but now I'm itching for him to make a move. The waiting of will he or won't he is starting to drive me crazy.

This morning the boys' friends arrived at the lake house making it as chaotic as ever. Trevor and Cole were childhood friends of the boys but I saw them almost every year at the lake house so we had gotten to know each other.

"Who missed me?" Trevor yells coming through the door as Cole lugs both their bags behind.

"Nobody," I tease, "the house was so much quieter without you."

"Oh Addie I know you love me," he says giving me a hug and messing with my hair. Trevor has always played a bit of an annoying brother role.

Rolling my eyes I walk over to Cole giving him a hug, "No I missed Cole, he is much nicer and much quieter."

The boys make their way around the living room greeting everyone.

"Ok, so where are we bunking?" Trevor asks and silence falls over the room realizing we don't have enough beds.

"Did you guys really forget?" Cole asks.

Jack responds, "No it's just now that I have a girlfriend Trevor can't room with me, I guess the two of you could both stay in Luke's room he offers."

"No," Luke groans, "I love you guys but you both snore like a train, I can handle one but not two."

"Ok well why don't I stay with Addie, she has her own room," Trevor suggests.

Everyone turns to me and I start to shrug but Luke immediately shuts that down, "No I don't want to make her uncomfortable and she doesn't know you well enough."

"Cole and Trevor you can stay in the room Addie is in. I'll get the blowup mattress and sleep on the floor of my room. Addie, you can take my bed, is that okay?" Luke asks.

"Yeah that works," I agree and everyone goes back to talking.

The thought of Luke and I alone in a bedroom every night made my body hot. Sure we had sleepovers before, but that was before, and now things are different. Someone is bound to make a move now.

Noticing everyone else is distracted Luke leans in so only I can hear him, "I'm not sleeping on an air mattress."

Making eye contact with him I nod. Oh yeah, someone is gonna make a move.

----------

Later in the day we make it out on the lake and are all lounging on the boat.

As I sit at the front of the boat I feel Trevor sit down beside me. "So, why is Luke staring at you more than usual and why is he shooting daggers at me for talking to you alone?" He asks.

A small smile comes to my face and I drop my gaze down to my drink replying to him, "I don't know what you are talking about, nothing is different than before."

"Ok you don't have to tell me," he shrugs, "but when I catch you guys making out I get to say I told you so."

"Perv," I say giving him a little shove as he stands to leave.

Looking back at Luke I notice he is intently staring. Making sure no one is paying attention I send him a smile and a wink and the corners of his lips instantly begin to lift.

------------

That night when everyone is tired and showered we all lay on the couch watching a movie. Slowly people trickle off to bed. First Quinn and Grace then Jack and Ashlyn. Luke notices me starting to yawn and gives me a look saying you ready for bed and I nod my head yes.

Standing up Luke turns to the remaining boys and says, "We are gonna head to bed, be good."

As we walk down the stairs I hear Trevor shout, "Use protection!"

Rolling my eyes I shout back, "Separate beds!" then send Luke a sly smile which he returns.

As we close the door to Luke's room the reality of the situation sets in and I begin to panic a little. Do I change in front of him, or turn around, or leave the room, or do I go to the bathroom...

"Addie", I hear Luke's voice, "What's going on up there?"

"I need to change into my pajamas," I say, "and I didn't know what to do."

"Want me to turn around?" he asks.

"If you don't mind,"

"Of course not, whatever makes you comfortable," he says placing a kiss on the top of my head then turning to stand in the corner.

I change into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. When I look at myself in the mirror I regret not packing something a little cuter.

I let Luke know he can turn around and he pulls off his hoodie and his t-shirt.

Noticing my wide eyes he says, "These are my pajamas," gesturing at the shorts, "Is that okay?"

I nod my head but Luke isn't convinced, "I'm not expecting us to do anything, and if something makes you uncomfortable just say the word."

"I'm not uncomfortable Luke," I say then I start feeling a little bold, "and I never said I didn't want to do anything."

I watch Luke's face show a glimpse of surprise before he pulls himself together again.

"So you wouldn't mind if I kissed you again?" he asks.

"Not at all," I say.

He steps forward placing his hands on the back of my head intertwining his fingers in my hair and before I know it his lips are on mine.

The kiss starts off slow but when he tugs my hair to angle my face to meet his I let out a small gasp and he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth. The kiss becomes more eager as he continues to work his hands through my hair and my hands roam his bare shoulders and arms.

Pulling back breathlessly I say, "I've been waiting all week for you to kiss me again."

"Yeah well I've been waiting to kiss you again since we were 16," He says kissing me again.

This time his hands are on my waist as he walks backwards towards the bed pulling me with him. Sitting on the bed he pulls me on top to straddle him. He looks up at me to check I'm comfortable and I nod before we crash our lips back together.

Both our hands are roaming each other's bodies as our kisses grow more desperate enjoying the feel of each other. His hands have found a place on my ass and I don't think he has plans to move them. Grabbing my ass he rolls my hips into his and I feel his hardness between my legs letting out a gasp.

I never thought kissing could be this good but the way we are moving in sync and our hips have found a rhythm have me on cloud 9.

With a groan, Luke flips us over holding himself over me. Kissing me he rolls his hips into me one last time before pulling away.

Letting his head fall into the crook of my neck he pants trying to catch his breath, "Baby we need to stop."

"Oh," I say feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"It's just if we don't stop, I don't think I'll be able to stop," he says still trying to pull himself together.

"What if I don't want to stop?" I say.

Hearing his breath hitch, he responds, "You are not making this easy." Letting out a sigh, he sits up, "I need to tell you something before we keep going."

Sitting up and moving beside him I ask, "Is something wrong? You're scaring me."

"No nothing is wrong," he assures, "Just promise to not judge okay?"

I nod and wait for him to speak again.

"Ok, I'm just gonna say it, I'm a virgin," He says quickly and then looks at me like he is expecting me to freak out, "I'm not like a freak or anything I just never found anyone I wanted to do that with."

Looking at his worried expression, I smile, relieved at what he is telling me, and then I tell him the secret I've kept: "I'm a virgin too, and don't worry I just never found anyone either. Why did you never tell?"

"I could ask you the same question," he asks, "but to be honest I just never knew how to say anything. You just assumed after I left for college and how was I supposed to tell you I never had sex because no girl could live up to the one in my head."

"And I do?" I ask.

"Addie, you are the girl," he says and his words sink in.

"You waited for me?" I ask for confirmation and he nods his head.

Not being able to stop myself I lean over and kiss him, this time slower. The kiss substitutes for the words I can't find.

Pulling away he asks, "So you don't mind that I don't know what I'm doing."

"Nope," I smile, "cause I have no idea what I'm doing, we can learn together."

"Only time learning has ever sounded appealing" he jokes going to kiss me again, "let's do some studying."

Dodging his kiss I say "Slow down there Lukie, I meant it when I said I was sleepy."

Laughing at his disappointment I tell him, "But maybe we can do some learning tomorrow."

"Deal, now snuggle with me," He groans motioning for me to crawl into his arms.

A/N: this is my first time writing any kind of smut of making out so I hope I did okay. Feel free to leave any comments or ask any questions on my page.